Greetings!I know it has been a long stretch since I checked in. So much has happened that it would be useless to try to catch up on ALL the things I wanted to talk about. I have committed to write more often because if I don’t my head will explode!
I hope everyone had a great holiday. Barring all the insanity of the season, I hope that each and every one of you had a chance to sit down with at least one person in your life that you have not seen or talked to in awhile. Over the last week, I have been fortunate to have sit down with at least five people that by virtue of geography, we are unable to connect on a regular basis. It was an indescribable feeling to watch the years melt away as each conversation brought up fond memories of events and people from our past. This is always the time when people commit to staying in touch with the people that represent those bright spots in their lives, but the momentum gets dashed as people get caught up in their lives again – kids, bills, the J-O-B, careers and other struggles. I am a firm believer that you can still reach out to people without it being a big production and let them know that they are in your thoughts. There is way too much technology out here to let years pass without staying connected.
With that said I wanted to talk a little bit about a quote that a friend of mine forwarded to me some weeks back - Never make someone your priority while allowing yourself to become their option. The moment she sent it to me, I knew that I was going to have comment on it. However, I did not realize how REAL it was going to be for me this past Sunday. It was on that day that someone sat across from me and said in more words than were necessary that he started a relationship despite the fact we had unfinished business. I am a pretty good judge of when someone is acting unusual, so I was not really surprised. In fact, we weren't even locked in like that – we had been down this road once before, so I remained very cautious and extremely verbal when I felt like things weren’t exactly right. At this point, I only asked that this person be up front and exact. I think what ultimately sent me over the edge was the fact that he tried to spin this scenario like it “just happened” and that he was “blindsided” by this person’s desire to transition a 30 year friendship into something more. It started out with one trip to the Midwest for a football game, to some “potential business opportunities” that coincidentally had to be addressed on the weekend of my birthday, to a full blown commitment that was shared with an ex-wife, three kids and various others before it was presented to me two days before Christmas. The timeline didn’t make sense or the rationales that were put on the table. As a result I was ticked off for being played so stupid!
So here comes the part that is so real for me – there have been numerous times when I exerted boundless energy to do what I could to make sure this person was encouraged to reach their career goals, be uplifted when family issues seemed overwhelming, and just be supportive of the path he was trying to take. During the four years I have known him, I have taken the good with the bad. With the exception of a period of time when we had no communications at all, I witnessed and have been party to a lot of STUFF. Part of it was trying to make this person my PRIORITY when he had several OPTIONS that he exercised on a regular basis. When the kids got older, other family issues were resolved, and he saw an opportunity to make what he considered “a clean break”, that’s exactly what he did. Problem is he found this escape hatch just when his support would have been invaluable to moving my cause either as a partner or a friend. There are countless stories from other individuals about how this person came to the aid of this man, this woman, this child, etc., but even if I asked the smallest of favors, it was either a struggle or just never got done. You see I was just an OPTION, and regardless of what I have done in the past, I was never a PRIORITY. So this breaking news two days before Christmas has left me yearning to grab a lot of moments back – moments of compromise, moments of tolerance of people in his life, and moments wracking my brain to figure out what I did to be relegated to an OPTION rather than a PRIORITY.
So this is life lesson I wanted to share with all of you as we move into ’08 – Pick and choose your PRIORITIES with precision, particularly when it comes to other people. Be wary of the newcomers because they may ultimately be energy zappers. If you count among your circle people or persons who constantly have their hand out to TAKE, but never offer to help out or uplift, this might be a good time to shake them loose. If you encounter people who are not who they claim to be try keep them at bay. Focus on your family and their needs and your long time comrades who continue to hold it down for you each and every time. Most importantly take care of your physical and mental SELF so that you can detect when you are an OPTION and prepare to be the best person to the people that count you as one of their PRIORITIES.
To all those that continue to be mindful of the WOMAN, the feeling person, AND the S-HERO – I appreciate the love.
I would love to hear your thoughts.
With that I wish you all the best today and always.
G
No comments:
Post a Comment